The three men you should avoid at all costs

If there is one thing I have learned in life, there are douchebags a plenty!

Alas, not all are created equally.

There are so many guys you know you shouldn’t date, the emotionally unavailable, the bad-texter, the non-committer, the workaholic, the stoner, etc.  However, I have narrowed it down to the three type of men you should literally run away from – I mean RUN as if your clothes were actually on fire and you needed to dive into a lake to save yourself.

  1. The oops I have a girlfriend.  He is my favorite, this one courts you, makes you feel special, takes you out, does nothing to allude to the fact that he is already hooked up, scores with you, and then longingly looks at you like a sad puppy and says ‘I have a girlfriend’.  Here is your only response: BYE, and don’t call me even when you are single!  He is a liar and a cheater, what a gem!  He will not get better with age, he won’t dump his girlfriend for you, nor would you want him to because he is careless and literally sucks at life.
  2. The I am married but….there is a long list of buts with this dude but are not limited to: she doesn’t understand me, I have a dead bedroom, she is sick, I can’t leave because of the kids, I need a best friend, I am lonely, you make me feel alive, etc..  These guys are literally mind ninjas, they have perfected the art of seducing women and making them feel like they are the key to their happiness.  Tell him to grow a pair and deal with his issues or get a divorce like a real adult.  If you think your captain adulterer is different, just remember, nobody ever said ‘I am so happy I had that affair.’
  3. The habitual texter, i.e.. relationship only over text.  I seriously do not have a real evaluation for these ones, they love to text you day and night like you are in some bizarre virtual relationship, but when you want to see each other in real life, perhaps like an actual couple, they disappear.  Ignore them, they want some strange need filled and that is not your job. This goes for email, g-chat, etc. You deserve someone who will take you out on a real date to eat real food and have a real conversation.

These are the real winners of the title ‘DoucheBag’

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