19 May Istanbul to Nikkah

Three and a half years ago I landed in Istanbul as my world tour kicked off, and two days in I met Mashal.  I didn’t know at that time we’d become lifelong friends.

We met on an a now defunct solo traveler app, and she likes to tell people she met me at the Blue Mosque wearing a hijab and carrying a Quran – the free one they hand out at the mosque.  I don’t remember that part, I remember meeting her in the crisp fall weather and walking around the open gardens on the Bosphorus.

She was my first real exposure to Islam.  She answered all of my questions I had without disdain for my ignorance at the time, and I went into the various mosques with her as she prayed.  Mashal is Afghan American, so Turkey was a place she could visit to experience her religion.   She ended up moving into my hotel, using my laptop to finish a masters paper, and we took a taxi to the Istanbul airport on the same day and said goodbye.  As we departed, she gave me a bracelet she got at the market that I still wear to this day.

Throughout my trip we kept in contact and after it was over and I was back home she booked a trip to colorful Colorado and she was welcomed by a brutally cold winter weekend.  It was everything this native Californian could’ve dreamt of, snow, ice, and mountains galore.

Flash forward to this May and I was in attendance at her nikkah (wedding) to Wassim.   I flew in from Denver in the morning and her cousins took care of me – Fereshta did my hair and Runia was my taxi to the mosque and again to the reception hall.

I felt so honored to be included in this special day.  I did my best to fit in – rocked a full body jumpsuit and hijab to match.  I have been in a handful of mosques, but I had never attended any ceremony in one.  I did my best to follow along, take my shoes off, sit with the women, etc.  At one point there was a prayer where everyone had their eyes closed or nearly closed.  Suddenly during the prayer I saw hand motions and panicked and did a Catholic Father, Son and Holy Spirit move. I am not even Catholic but that is what happened.  Later, Mashal’s friend Asma told me it was wiping your face motion. Noted.

The reception was huge!  I was overwhelmed at the amount of people and since it was a dry wedding I had to grin and bear it without a glass of white wine – Riesling to be precise. I was sat at a table for friends of Mashal and it was perfect.  I met Asma, her brother and lovely mother, Sana, and Shawdi.   We all got along so well and Sana mentioned that it’s because we’re all friends of Mashal …. birds of a feather.  I loved that there was such a diverse group of women sitting together brought together by one other amazing woman. 

At the end of the wedding Asma and her family dropped me off at my hotel, I was exhausted and promptly fell asleep.  I have to say there is something refreshing about a dry wedding – nobody is acting a fool, no worries of drunk driving, and nobody gets rowdy.

The next day I went to brunch at Mashal’s family home, her family was incredibly kind to me!  They knew I had to leave to get to the airport for my flight back to Denver and they prepared coffee for me, and her dad, Noor, made sure I had a bowl full of an amazing lamb stew before I got on my flight.   Her family was so open, welcoming, and warm.  I wish I had booked a later flight so I could have spent the day with them.  Even without knowing them I felt like I fit right in.

Having Mashal in my life adds a level of richness and greatness to my life that I can’t quite explain.  I am lucky to have her and to have been included in her Niqqah.

I wish the best for Mashal and Wassim in life, love, partnership.